Today was one of those really shitty days. I don't feel like writing a lot but my day involved extreme heat, the most boring ceremony I've ever been to in my life, reckless drivers, a TON of traffic due to some kind of accident, etc. But Bram and I did get our toes done this morning :) I am so thankful for my best friend. She's always, always there for me.. and needless to say, today was no exception. She came to my rescue multiple times, haha. Jeeeeeez. What a fucking day. I can't even think straight. I'm just glad to be home, safe and sound.
Oh, and another thing. I'm SO frustrated because apparently ESU changed my schedule only two days ago.. sent me an e-mail informing me that a change was made, but neglected to include a copy of my updated schedule. So I went down to Enrollment Services in order to at least obtain my schedule. They took it upon themselves to drop one of my classes (I had to return the books for it!) and the class they gave me has "by arrangement" listed under the day/time. So when do I have this newly added English class? Couldn't tell ya and I'm freaking out. I'm also disappointed that one of my only interesting classes was removed from my schedule.
But as for the title of this post, tomorrow really is a new beginning. It's the first day of college. And I'm going to have my first real college class. I feel like I'm not ready. So nervous, but pretty pumped about having a fresh start. It's just all so new. Ahh.. I better go and get my things ready for tomorrow =/ Wish me luck!
Today was a good day. Very simple, but good. It's the little things that usually make me the happiest. I got a new haircut and picked up my car from the shop :) Here's to hoping nothing else goes wrong with it for a long time. I can't wait to put all of my own stuff in it and really make it mine. See, it's an '02 Mazda Protege that used to be my dad's. Eventually he got his new car since the old one had a lot of miles on it, and [my car] was left in the driveway for once I got my license. Then one day it just wouldn't start and it's been sitting in our driveway ever since. Pretty much just taking up space. We didn't have the money to get it fixed at that time, and while things are still pretty tight financially, we managed to get it towed and fixed since it's now completely necessary.. seeing as I'm commuting to college. It was sitting for over a year so we were all worried about how it would run, but thankfully it seems to be back up and running pretty nicely now! It's a cute little car. I guess we'll see how it goes. I spent the entire afternoon cleaning up the inside. Tomorrow I still have to clean the seats and windows, and probably take it to a car wash for the outside. I'm so excited that I finally have it <333 These newfound feelings of freedom and independence are incredible.
love is in the air; i put on a gas mask.
It really just hit me that this was my LAST weekend before college starts. Holy shit. Now it's already early Monday morning. This Saturday I'll be at ESU picking up my books, and then on Sunday we have some kind of welcoming ceremony. In exactly a week, I'll have my first college class at 9 A.M. Ahh! I cannot friggin believe it.
Leave all your love and your longing behind,
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive.
The dog days are over.
The dog days are done.
Can't you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come.
And I never wanted anything from you,
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too.
Oh, happiness hit her like a bullet in the head.
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that.
everyone around me is chasing after something, leaving their homes behind.
As per usual, it's after 3 A.M. and I'm wide awake. Part of me wishes there was someone up to keep me company, while the other part would argue that the silence isn't so bad. Either way, alone I sit.. thinking thinking thinking. What else is new? I often wonder if other people think this much. I'm practically drowning in thoughts. Ones of excitement, fear, hope, worry, regret. The future, the present, the past. Dreams. The list goes on and on.
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to rest easier once my car is fixed and college starts. (Only about 9 days left till ESU!) It might sound silly to say I'll be less stressed during the school year, but I consider that to be accurate as of now. Most of my main concerns deal with getting through that first week. I am SO pumped and greatly looking forward to a fresh start, but I know there's a lot to be nervous about. My stomach has been in knots. I can't wait to meet new people. Good people. And I'm truly anxious to learn and explore different topics, even ones outside of my major. I find a lot of comfort in the fact that I'll still be living at home, while at the same time I yearn for freedom and more independence. But I'd be kidding myself if I said I was ready to leave. It would make everything so much harder and I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle it. Besides, I do love my family to death. They're what keeps me going even if we can drive each other crazy. Sometimes we all just need a break. A little room to breathe.
What it comes down to is.. my best friend and I are in this together. We both want to get involved on campus and agree that we would have been miserable in a dorm. We're also saving ourselves a lot of money by commuting, which is always a plus. So we'll see how it all goes. Bram and I will be sure to update our blogs about all of our adventures, classes, etc. :) Only time will tell what the future holds. Regardless, we got this. We're going to have the time of our lives <3
On another note: I've been learning recently that I need to be more confident in my decisions, because I'm the only one in control of my life. There's a big difference between what's easy and what's right. And in certain situations, it's all just a matter of opinion. Sometimes I need to just take a step back and trust myself. You know? Really believe in the choices I'm making and give myself some credit. I also have to allow room for mistakes, and be less critical of myself when I do make a wrong move every once in awhile. I've got a good head on my shoulders and a heart to match. I just need to put the two to good use, and I know I'll be alright.
